I recently spent over an hour with a friend who was launching a new podcast specifically geared towards helping Christian men take positive steps forward in their walk with Christ.

Ron was a part of Friendship several years ago and we’ve kept in touch. I would highly recommend you giving the podcast a follow. He’s got a lot of great guests lined up, and hey my full interview drops tomorrow!

Ron and I will be talking about men and church, and how specifically for the last 20+ years I’ve been working on making Friendship a place where men not only come, but actually want to come and be a part!

Give it a listen and let me know what you think!

Dave

In November of 1987, the band R.E.M. released a crazy, string of consciousness kind of song bearing this title. How many times has that song played in your head the last few weeks? Seriously, how many people that you know are literally acting like this is the end of the world? Maybe…that’s you?

First, let me assure you, it’s not the end of the world. In spite of what the news media or your cousin ‘who knows someone in the Pentagon’ tells you this pandemic is actually very minor compared to what we’ve gone through in the past. Don’t believe me, well then believe the people that actually catalog these things. This article here by Live Science ranks the top 20 pandemics of all time, Covid 19 does not make the list. In fact, two recent pandemics actually make the list that most of us already lived through, Zika and Swine flu. So, see, you’ve already lived through worse…and probably didn’t even know it, Congratulations!

Second, this however, doesn’t diminish the fact that we are in fact going through something, but hopefully it gives a little perspective. As humans we always overdramatize the present and under-represent the past, it’s just human nature. People, primarily those who are susceptible or have lower/diminished immune systems are not only getting really sick, but many people have died. Contrary to some who are running around saying every life is precious in one breath, and then saying that abortions are somehow essential, I actually believe that every life is precious. In fact, I believe every life was created by God, with a plan, a purpose, and significance.

So, finally, I also believe that God has clearly given those of us who follow Jesus Christ guidelines as to how we are to treat the pinnacle of His creation (ahem, that’s you and me btw). Jesus himself made this statement when asked about what was most important to God:

“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” – Mark 12:29-21 NIV

Now, I feel that when Jesus says something as definitive as this that you and I should pay a lot of attention…don’t you? He says, the most important thing, the most vital thing you can do in this lifetime, and with your life that you have been given is to love God and love people! I actually think the order is pretty important too, because there’s a lot of people in this world that I would struggle…do struggle…loving if it weren’t for my love for God. The love of God that I have received enables me to show, share, and spread love to others. If your connection with God is intermittent or loose, your love for others will reflect that.

So, maybe take a deep breath before you bash that person on Facebook today. Ask yourself, am I being loving? Is this how God has loved me? God’s not asking you to agree with him, in fact, you probably don’t, but aren’t you so thankful for God’s free will in your life? But maybe instead of calling them a ‘doody head’ or an ‘ignorant neanderthal’ you choose to creatively but respectfully disagree…or better yet…maybe just don’t reply at all…just a thought!

Dave

By now you’re probably on season 4 of whatever show your binge watching, and the novelty of staying or working at home has already grown more stale than the aroma of your teenage boys socks! So, what should we do?

First thing I would say, is to do as much of your normal routine as possible. Yes, I know that some of it isn’t possible, but much of your daily routine you can still do. I love the words of Solomon, the wisest man that ever lived, who said this when staring into the face of his own mortality:

So I reflected on all this and concluded that the righteous and the wise and what they do are in God’s hands…Anyone who is among the living has hope—even a live dog is better off than a dead lion! For the living know that they will die,but the dead know nothing…Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do….Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days…Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom. – Ecclesiastes 9 NLT (selected verses)

Nearing the close of WWII CS Lewis, the author and theologian, famously wrote:

“How are we to live in an atomic age?” Why, as you would have lived in the sixteenth century when the plague visited London almost every year, or as you would have lived in a Viking age when raiders from Scandinavia might land and cut your throat any night; or indeed, as you are already living in an age of cancer, an age of syphilis, an age of paralysis, an age of air raids, an age of railway accidents, an age of motor accidents.”

In other words, do not let us begin by exaggerating the novelty of our situation…the first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies but they need not dominate our minds.

The second thing I’d challenge you to do, and I believe God would have us do, is to reconnect with both God and our family. I’d like you to open the calendar app on your phone and look at your schedule prior to two weeks ago. How many of those ‘extremely important’ events have been pulled from your life without you, your children, or your spouse dying?!

Maybe one of the greatest gifts from this craziness is that many of us reclaim our lives! When everything is taken from you it becomes really easy to see what matters most! And, when it comes to God, you’ve always been saying how you WANT to set aside time each day…well it looks like your day is pretty wide open, maybe start that life-giving habit now?

Third, be productive! Don’t just sit around in your PJ’s waiting for the Door Dash dude or the Grub Hub gal to knock on your door, do something. Ephesians 5:15-16 says:

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of your time, because the days are evil. (ESV)

In 1665 a young college student named Issac Newton…yeah him…was sent home because the Black Plague was spreading like wildfire across Europe. He could have easily wasted his time, gone on Spring Break with his boyz, or just walked around all day in his Sponge Bob Square Pants pajama bottoms, but no, he choose to apply himself.

During the year he was in quarantine he invented calculus, began studying the idea of light refraction and wrote his theories on optics, and there was one other thing…what was that? Oh Yeah, he discovered and started formulating the Laws of Gravity!!! Later in his life others coined his time away from college for the plague as the ‘annus mirabilis’ or the Year of Wonders. He returned to college and the rest as we say is history.

Seize the moment my friends! Live, Reconnect, and Make something happen!

Dave

Well this is a first time for me, writing about a virus. Now, granted, I actually have written about many spiritual virus’ and soul-sucking diseases, but never on one that was specifically a physical virus.

So, first a disclaimer: The virus is real, it has caused people’s deaths, and it is something that can be caught in the United States no matter how powerful or careful we are. Each of us should be wise and use caution by not being in people’s faces, washing our hands, and if we are sick, stay home for crying out loud!

I probably shake more peoples hands than most and I do it each and every weekend. Additionally, if you watch me I also use a whole lot of the antibacterial foam that is placed in multiple locations all around our foyer at Friendship Church (which have been there for years). I’m not paranoid, but I also don’t want to get sick. I have a wife that has two auto-immune diseases and I don’t want her to get sick. So I tend to bathe in the stuff each weekend, and I know I shouldn’t, but I actually put that stuff on my face sometimes…again I don’t want to get sick.

BUT – being wise and cautious is a far cry from what we are witnessing in many circles today. I’m old enough to remember a few other times that people reacted like this. For instance, there was this thing called Y2k. It was a computer glitch that was going to shut down the world, throw us into the dark ages, cause mass havoc, undermine national security. Interesting enough there were certain sectors of our markets that made billions off of supposed ‘fixes’ to the Y2K issue, and guess what, when the clocks rolled over to midnight and it turned 01/01/2000…nothing happened. Hysteria and panic make people do stupid and unwise things.

So, seriously though, how should Christians react to this? First, be smart. I love it when Jesus tells the disciples to be “…innocent as doves but as wise as serpents”. Now, he was specifically talking about how they ministered to people, but I believe it is applicable here too. For example, it’s probably not a great time to reinstate the “…greet each other with a holy kiss…” idea!

But most importantly I believe that Scripture compels us to be calm, to not fear, to not panic, or act as if we are abandoned. I remember several years ago I was undergoing a procedure, it was a small issue and it was with local anesthetic so I was awake the whole time. After the procedure was over, the doctor came back in the room and began to have a conversation with me. This was peculiar because before he stated, “I won’t see you after, I’ve got 7 more minor surgeries to do today.” Yet, there he was…he even sat down on the counter. After a few moments of chit-chat he said the following, “I don’t believe in God. I actually have several pastors as patients and they all pretty much react the same way everyone else does when they hear bad news. (and here is the kicker) But you were calm the whole time, it’s clear that you actually believe what you preach. I’m not saying this is changing my mind or anything, but I’m not going to lie, your reaction made me think.”

I’m not sharing this for you to be like, “Wow, Dave is such a super-Christian!” nope, I have good days and bad days, and that one was apparently a good one! My point is, my reaction to a non-optimal situation spoke volumes about the God I serve to a man who didn’t even believe he existed! (take two seconds and read that again)

Every cultural hysteria, crisis, disaster, etc… is an opportunity for the church of Jesus Christ to shine. To shine our love, our care, our courage, and yes our calm.

Luke the author of Acts records an amazing moment in the early church when Peter and John were standing in front of a court, literally with their lives hanging in the balance:

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. – Acts 4:13

Then Paul gives us a command, notice it’s not a suggestion, but a command:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7

I know stuff like this can be scary sometimes, I get that. But the situation around you does not change the God within you! He is still the same yesterday, today, and forever. He’s still in control, he still holds all things together, and yes indeed he is still the Great Physician.

Dave

PS – Just to wrap this all up, be wise, be cautious, and be calm, because your response speaks volumes about the God you say you believe in!

…said no on ever!!! If you think marriage is easy then you are one of the following:

• A single person
• A child
• A newlywed (like honeymoon night newlywed)

The reality is that marriage is hard, and far too many people give up on marriage way too quickly. This last year I celebrated 25 years of marriage with my bride, and I’m not going to lie to you it’s not been easy sometimes…for either of us. But, in the same breath I can tell you with unwavering confidence that this last year was, quite possibly, our best year ever!

You see over time you learn what to and what not to do that pisses off you spouse. You begin to understand their body language for both the potential positive (intimacy) and nasty negative (I just ticked them off). You grow comfortable, not the bad comfortable, but the ‘I can be completely honest and vulnerable with you’ comfortable, where you can drop your mask at the front door, take off your makeup, remove your shoes, and just sit on the couch with a glass of wine and talk about your day comfortable! Do you know how good that is?

In a world where everyone is judging, attacking, and trying to change you to be able to just…BE…is priceless.

Listen, if you are married and going through a rough patch, take a deep breath. Each day is a new day to start over, determine right now that you will be the change your marriage needs. I firmly believe that every marriage is just one or two small changes away from being amazing. Don’t wait till made up holidays to express your love, improve your marriage, or create a little romance, do it every day, one day at a time. You just may find that person you’ve been searching for has been there all along.

Dave

PS – Thanks honey for sticking with me, you rock!!

PSS: You should check out the marriage series I’m currently teaching at Friendship Church: http://experiencefriendship.com/messages/from-this-day-forward

So, let’s begin with the question that most of you are asking yourself…does Dave watch GoT? Some of you are asking because you watch it and enjoy it, others because you can’t believe a pastor would watch such a thing. Read the rest of this page »

This next Sunday I’ll be launching a new series where we are going to look into all 9 ofthe Fruits of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. (HCSB)

As you look at those 9 characteristics I’m fairly certain that all of us wish we had more of each of these in our life…especially that last one, right! So, you may be asking the question, “What do I have to do, change, work on, or be so that I can have more of those?” Well honestly, that’s the wrong question.

Notice, that Paul calls them “fruit”. When was the last time that you saw a fruit tree working at being a fruit tree? Seriously, have you ever seen a grapevine straining to produce grapes? No, of course not, that’s a silly thing to suggest! You see for the tree or the vine producing fruit just comes naturally…as long as it’s healthy and it gets the nutrients it needs.

Jesus says in John 15:

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vineyard keeper. Every branch in Me that does not produce fruit He removes, and He prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in Me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me.” (HSCB)

A couple of really important things to notice; first off God is the one who is doing the work on you, not you! He is looking at your life, trimming away stuff that isn’t being productive, removing things that are stealing your energy, and making sure that what you are producing is what He wants you to produce.

Second, notice the key, “Remain in me”! Your job as a follower of Jesus Christ is not to produce fruit, your job is to stay connected. When you stay connected and in close relationship with Jesus, it is him that produces the Fruit in you through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Stop trying so hard to be the ‘perfect Christian’ and simply spend time with Jesus. Allow him to do what only He can do, so that you can be the person He created you to be!