My random, sometimes insightful thoughts on life, God, family, and everything else

The Art of Being Unthankful and Unappreciative!

(The following is written with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek)

Today, I’d like to share with you 8 ways that you can develop an unthankful and unappreciative spirit, so that all of those who lead you, mentor you, and invest in you will be wounded by your callous disregard. If you’re ready to excel above the rest of the class, pay attention carefully and see if you are doing everything necessary to become all that you can’t be!

  1. Allow them to invest hours and hours into you and your life, take your frustrations out on them, blame them for things they did not do, and when you realize it was really all your problem the whole time…act as if nothing happened!
  2. Plead with them to take time out of their schedule to meet with you and them just minutes before cancel…or better yet, don’t show up at all!
  3. If you do decide to show up, make sure that you don’t do anything they’ve counseled you to do. And then several months later ask them to meet with you again.
  4. Always be telling the person who is working with you, how great every other mentor/coach/leader is, but make sure to never compliment or build them up (this is especially important on social media)!
  5. After someone has poured into your life, helped you deal with all of your crap, and got your feet under you again, make sure to always exclude them from any fun social gatherings…I mean that would just be awkward!
  6. Never share with anyone how this person helped you, and certainly don’t celebrate the impact they’ve made in your life. You don’t want them to get a big head after all!
  7. Take every opportunity to make fun at their expense, their a big boy/girl they can take it! Oh, and make sure to bring others along, it’s always better when there’s more people involved.
  8. Get all of the training you can from them, get all of your rough edges sanded off, allow them to suffer through all of your growing pains, and just when you’re really starting to become something, abandon ship to something ‘better’ and leave them hanging.

In over 20 years of leadership, primarily in church settings, I can say that I’ve had each of these done to me on more than one occasion, and every time it hurts. When you pour yourself into someone and then you’re either unappreciated or feel taken for granted it’s a scar that doesn’t easily heal. I’m sure some of the super-spiritual out there will say, “Well, aren’t you supposed to be doing it for God?”. To them I say, “Go suck on a pickle!!!” God made us to crave human interaction, yes, of course we do what we do for HIM and HIM alone, but it doesn’t make the pain any less real.

The Bible clearly tells us to Honor our leaders, whatever form they may be in. Part of honoring is showing gratitude, appreciation, and thankfulness. When was the last time you told your boss, your leader, your mentor or coach that they made a difference in your life. That if it weren’t for them stepping in, you wouldn’t know where you’d be today. Take time this week to make them feel special and important…because they are! Maybe do a few of these 8 things:

  1. Deeply, meaningfully apologize. Thank them profusely for being willing to put up with you and help you through.
  2. When they take time out of their schedule to meet with you, move heaven and earth make it there, honor their time and their family.
  3. If you thought they were important enough to meet with, heed their counsel, God’s probably trying to tell you something. Then meet with them afterwards to let them know how their counsel worked and changed your life.
  4. Always be telling the person who works with you what a privilege it is for you. Tell everyone around you and especially others on social media what a great leader, friend, etc… they are for you.
  5. If someone has poured into your life, helped you deal with all of your crap, and got your feet under you again, you better make sure to include them in the good times too!
  6. When you share your story, give them credit, in fact lavish it on them, they won’t get a big head, they’ll be humbled to have been used by God in such a way.
  7. Take every opportunity to praise them, never take cheap shots, and don’t let anyone else take them either.
  8. Soak up everything you can from them, get all of those rough edges sanded off, then take your talents and leverage them to help them accomplish their mission!


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