My random, sometimes insightful thoughts on life, God, family, and everything else

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What did you want to be when you grew up?

We all remember what we wanted to be when we were growing up, a doctor, lawyer, veterinarian, fireman, etc… We all remember because it was really our first big dream. For some of us we wanted to be that because our mom or dad was one, or someone we idolized was. Others wanted to be that because we looked up to them, felt like they were people who made a difference, who made an impact in others lives.

I remember several years ago (1999) Monster.com came out with a tremendous ad campaign with children sharing ‘their dreams’.

At that point in time I was just 5 years removed from college and although I thought the commercial was funny, the power of the commercial was somewhat lost on me. Now, fifteen plus years later, and hundreds of conversations with people just like you I realize that this commercial isn’t so much funny as it is sad. To think about all of the people in our world whose dreams have become nothing more than a cherished memory of childhood, and thought of as a naive childhood fantasy. How incredibly sad!

The Bible, however, teaches that childhood dreams are not something to simply be dismissed, but to be celebrated! A child isn’t tainted with the disease of what we call reality and therefore can see things with a clarity that escapes most adults. By the time we are ‘grown up’ we know better, we are seasoned, we are more mature…we are cynical, jaded, and realists! Our innocence and trust has eroded away as the years slipped by, leaving us with the inability to believe in anything that we cannot taste, touch, feel, or see and our imagination, dreams, and faith dissipate into the vast nothingness of adulthood.

I think it’s time for us to rekindle our dreams and passions to pursue all that God has for us.  Jesus said;

I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it. – Luke18:17 NLT

The Bible tells us that God has incredible plans for your life (Jer 29:11; 1 Cor 2:9) but those plans, although promised to you, will never become reality until you are willing to reach out, take them, and pursue them. Much like needing to have the faith of a child is necessary for salvation, believing that our Heavenly Father wants good and not evil for us takes a child like trust of our divine parent. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, the world will tell you that it’s unrealistic. Yes, it may take longer than you planned. BUT, Yes, God can be trusted!

So, what did you want to be when you grew up…it’s not too late!

Dave

Posted by  |  April 16, 2015 | Categories: Christian Life, Random thoughts | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Just Say No!

Logo-no-just-say-no-480I am old enough to remember the anti-drug and alcohol campaign that touted and launched this iconic saying. Even as I watched these commercials as a preteen and teen I realized that even though the commercials themselves were more than ‘lame’ (80’s throwback reference) the power of the statement really did make an impact. I mean I started saying no to my teachers, my coaches, my parents…I may have taken that out of context, and it most definitely got me in trouble!

As I’ve grown older, gained more experience, and grown a touch more mature, I’ve realized there is incredible power in that little two-letter word.  I’ve also learned that if I’m going to be able to say ‘yes’ to the things in my life that are really important, I’m going to need to learn how to say ‘no’ to the things that are less important. Now, this isn’t to say that things others are asking me to do are bad, in fact, many if not all of them are very good, but it’s not what is best for me.

Over the years I’ve gleaned from some masters in the art of saying no, and I’ve taken some of the best ‘no’s’ I’ve received over the years and incorporated them into my own personal repertoire, but for the sake of time and space I’ve boiled down some of the best, so without further ado:

Dave’s Top Five Ways To Say No With A Smile!

  1. I would love to, however, my schedule simply doesn’t allow me the time to do that.
  2. Thanks so much for thinking of me, as awesome as it may be, I cannot do that.
  3. I am so sorry, but that is just not something that I can do at this point.
  4. Unfortunately, do to my other commitments, I must decline. However, (so-and-so) might be a perfect fit.
  5. Thank you so much for the offer, but in an effort to honor my time with my family, I cannot take you up on it.

I’d love to hear some of your great ‘no’s’ in the comments, just maybe I’ll steal one for my own personal collection!

And hey, don’t feel bad about saying ‘no’, they won’t have to give an account for how you used the time God gave you…but you will!

Dave

Posted by  |  April 14, 2015 | Categories: Christian Life, Family, Leadership | Tags: , | 4 Comments

Living an unscripted life!

Do you ever feel as if your life is about as predictable as a bad ‘B’ movie?Unscripted_Web You know the type of movies I’m talking about right? You know who the villain is in the first 5 minutes, or you know that ‘so-so’ is going to end up with ‘so-so’, or the fact that the guy who says ‘let’s split up and search for them’ is the first one to bite the bullet!

What’s amazing is that is the exact opposite of how God wants and intends for you to live your life. Jesus said that his desire was to give you a “…rich and satisfying life” (Jn 10:10) yet so many of us have settle for safe and predictable. I think that it’s time for all of us who claim to know Christ and want to live like Christ to flip the script and start living the way God intended.

Our reason’s for not letting loose tends to revolve around things like what others will think of us, how will it all turn out, what if I fall flat on my face?  Well, think about this, Jesus was never in a hurry, rarely did what was expected, and often didn’t do what people wanted, yet he is the most influential person in human history! If you want to live a life of impact, a life that makes a difference you cannot just go with the flow and be like everyone else. You’ve got to be willing to ‘go off script’ and break away from the safe and predictable.

I’d like to personally invite you to be my guest this Sunday as we launch this brand new series simply called “Unscripted”, and if you do come, make sure to say “Hi”!

Dave

PS: Here’s a trailer video our amazing Creative Team put together for the series:

Posted by  |  April 9, 2015 | Categories: Christian Life, New Series | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Loneliness Could Kill You!

10711128_10153081704355801_8493759256406455593_nI came across a recent study, that given a message I just preached a couple of weeks ago (Connecting), peaked my interest.  In the study (as reported here) researches determined the following:

…loneliness and isolation are as damaging as obesity. The impact of loneliness has also been likened to smoking 15 cigarettes a day or excessive drinking.

and

…people who said they were lonely, felt socially isolated or lived alone, had a 30 percent increased likelihood of death.

Whoa!  Who would have thought that loneliness was that bad for you…wait…hang on a second, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard something about being alone somewhere before, now where was that…

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him. – Genesis 2:18

Oh, yeah that’s right, now I remember!  God literally created us to long for relationships, both horizontal and vertical, human and divine.  The three most essential connections for a meaning-filled life are:

  1. Connecting to Christ (restoring our relationship with God)
  2. Connecting to His Church (embracing a mission bigger than ourselves)
  3. Connecting with other Christians (enjoying life with others who are headed in the same direction)

At Friendship Church we believe that these connections are absolutely necessary and do everything we can to help you become relationally satisfied.  As apart of this passion we have created small groups that you can connect with throughout the week so that you can connect with other people going through the same things you are, so you can grow deeper in your faith, and so that you can begin to establish a great support group around you.

Our next round of small groups kicks off after Easter, are you in?

Dave

Posted by  |  March 19, 2015 | Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Obligatory St. Patrick’s Day Post!

Photo by Ed MoritaToday is of course the day that people drink green beer, wear green face/body paint, and usually end up doing really stupid things.  Why do we do this…well to honor a man who gave his life to reaching people for Christ of course!  Makes total sense to me.

The legend of Patrick is quite verbose and exaggerated, but it’s important to note that the legend stems from a real man, who did real things.  Allow me to first get a few things out of the way.  Patrick was not Irish, he was more than likely Scottish.  He didn’t drive the snakes out of Ireland…as there were no snakes to drive out.  He probably didn’t use the three leaves of the Shamrock to teach about the Trinity.  And, Saint Patrick, is actually not considered a saint.

Patrick is embraced primarily in the Roman Catholic tradition but we have to remember that he lived very early on in the history of the church, 387-450/60’s AD, and the church at that time was still primarily Biblical in it’s approach.  In fact, the early church fathers Ambrose, Jerome, and Augustine were still alive, so his message of salvation in Jesus Christ, his understanding of Mary, and his view of Biblical authority would be very similar to what we would call Evangelical.  So, even though he is claimed by Catholicism as a pseudo-saint, in reality he is someone that the entirety of Christendom can look up to, honor, and learn from.

So, what can we learn from this man?  First, I believe that we can learn that you don’t need a profound education to make a profound impact.  Patrick often called himself unlearned and simple, but it was just this thing that made him so effective in reaching the tribal Druid groups that inhabited Ireland.  Patrick wasn’t the first missionary to go to Ireland, he was just the first one to be effective!

Second, we can learn forgiveness.  Patrick was actually captured by a Druid Chieftain when he was 16 years old and made his slave.  In his autobiography, he states that he was certain that at any time he would be sacrificed to one of their Gods.  However, Patrick escaped and made his way back to his family.  After several years, Patrick had a dream that he believed was God’s way of telling him to go back and be a missionary to these people.  According to legend, yes I know, the Chieftain that was his master was one of his first converts.  Can you imagine going back to preach Christ to people who had not only enslaved you, but killed those you loved?

Finally, we can learn endurance.  This man dedicated his life to the work in Ireland, he had no hopes nor desire to ‘go back home’ and retire.  Ireland was his new home.  Almost daily, especially early on, he was faced with danger, ridicule, and rejection; but he refused to quit.  Some call this stubbornness other call it perseverance, you can call it whatever you want and I’d encourage you to emulate it!

So, tonight as you are enveloped in a sea of green ‘insert noun here’, just remember that there really was a guy named Patrick who loved Jesus and made a difference!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day Everyone!

Posted by  |  March 17, 2015 | Categories: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Why Racism, and Reverse Racism Can’t Coexist With The Bible!

I am well aware of this being a hot potato, but the truth of the Word of God should be able to bear some significant light, and hopefully change into the hearts of those who are willing to listen.

What is ‘Racism’?

Prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed directed against someone of a different race* based upon the belief that ones own race is superior.

The belief that all members of each race* possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race* or races*.  (*emphasis added) Oxford Dictionary

I think it’s important to note that you don’t have to be a bigot to be a racist.  For example if you have ever said to yourself or to others, ‘all asians are good at math’, ‘all hispanics are hard workers’, ‘all african-americans are good athletes’, ‘all caucasians live in the suburbs’; you are, by definition, being racist.  Essentially, if you group people based upon their ethnic background, cultural context, or color of their skin, instead of their individual talents, abilities, gifts, and personality you are thereby ‘being racist’ because you are categorizing by race.

So, let’s first challenge this idea that their are such things as ‘Races’.  According to the dictionary Race is; a group of persons related by common descent or heredity.  Hmmmmm, now that IS interesting isn’t it?  If you have read your Bible, and you believe what it teaches then we are all descended from not only one, but two common ancestors.  According to Genesis 1-3, God created a male and a female, Adam and Eve, and all mankind originated in the two of them.  As the centuries waned on man abandoned God and his laws, so God sent a prophet/preacher in the man Noah to warn them of a global flood which would wipe out all of those who did not turn back to God.  Unfortunately, no one but Noah and his family believed God’s message and God did in fact wipe out all of creation and start over with Noah and his family.  So, all of humanity is related to Adam and Eve through Noah and his wife.  Therefore, there is only one race, the Human Race.

The entire idea of designation of races actually comes from a well known scientist named…Charles Darwin.  Yes, that is correct the author of Origin of Species was the individual that popularized and propagated the idea of one race being inferior or superior to another.  In fact, Darwin himself taught that the Australian Aborigine was actually THE missing link to apes.  That the Africans or negroids were less evolved than Asians or mongoloids, and that Europeans or caucasoids were at the top of the evolutionary scale.  The secondary title of his book is actually incredibly telling, ‘The Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle of Life’.  Betcha didn’t learn that one in science class did ya!

When we read our Bible correctly we see that God created humanity in His own image!  It doesn’t matter what your skin color is, what your ethnic background, or which continent your ancestors originally hailed from, YOU, as with all humanity, are made in the image of God!  There is only one race, the human race.  Your background neither makes you superior or inferior to another, God made you special, created you for purpose, and if you believe in Jesus Christ has destined you to reign with him in all eternity!

I think that it is high time that those who claim to know the Bible and love Jesus Christ take this bull by the horns and show the world how God intended it to be!

For further reading and scientific background check out this incredibly insightful article: Where Did The Races Come From?

I’ll leave you with the words of Jesus Christ as encouragement:

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. – John 13:34-35 NIV

Dave

Posted by  |  March 12, 2015 | Categories: Racism | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Free Agency and Church Staff!

colts-movingI am an unabashed fan of the NFL.  Since the day that the Mayflower trucks rolled out of the ingrate city of Baltimore (yeah, I said it!) to the current day I have been a Colts fan.  When we lived outside of the state of Indiana and the Colts weren’t particularly good I would often frequent sports bars so I could catch the game.  Then in year 5 of my absence from the greatest state in the world, came this new fangled thing called NFL Sunday Ticket (insert hallelujah chorus)!  I was now able to watch my team play each and every week, albeit with terrible announcers because quite frankly the Colts were fairly terrible.

So, when the NFL season is over, like all rabid fans, I begin to wonder what my beloved Colts will do during the off-season.  Today, March 10th, is the official beginning of what is called Free Agency, I’ll explain that knowing that some people reading this post have no idea to which I am referring to.  Free Agency is when veteran players contracts with their current team are up, they become a ‘free agent’, in essence they are now free to sign with whatever team will pay them the money they want.  Some teams (I’m looking at you Oakland) are typically overspending on players that are flashy and fancy, and they never quite work out.  Each and every year teams are lauded for making the ‘bold move’, for signing the ‘difference maker’, for catching the one person who could make them Super Bowl contenders.  The problem is, it RARELY works out that way.  Michael Schottey of Bleacher Report wrote a fantastic article yesterday that chronicled the teams that ‘won’ free agency the last several years and balanced that against their resulting record.  Suffice to say, it isn’t pretty (Winning Free Agency Hardly Equates To Winning Games).

Now, you might be wondering, “What in the world does this have to do with the church?”…well I’m so glad you asked!  For years and years the American church has been participating in it’s own brand of free agency.  One church signs another churches ‘star’ player and plugs them into their programs expecting blazing results and championship caliber play.  What happens more often than not is terrible friction, mediocre results, and an overall discomfort for the whole team.  If the senior leader is worth his salt then he can usually rectify the situation but it takes precious time and valuable energy to do so and it ends up being the church and the other staff who pays the price.  I’m not saying that it is never worth it to bring someone in from the outside, but you had better make sure it’s the right person you’re bringing in.  Otherwise, you will at best move sideways for a while and at worst your ministry may regress.

Many years ago I heard Rick Warren, pastor/founder of Saddleback Valley Community Church, say something like this, “Building your staff from within is always preferred when possible.”  That statement has resonated with me over the years and as I have thought about it more and more, it just makes sense!  The people in your church are already passionate about what you are doing.  They get your vision, they hear you talk each and every week, they are already known commodities.  You may be thinking about the ‘professional training’ that outside ‘free agents’ may have, and there is some truth to that.  But if I’ve learned anything about hiring staff over the last 20 years it’s this, you can teach people the ins and outs of ministry, but you can’t teach passion, you can’t force them to get the vision, and you can’t know someone you’ve never worked alongside of.

Of the 5 additional full/part time staff we have at Friendship all but one of them are homegrown.  This doesn’t mean that we will never hire from outside, in fact at some points you’ll need to, but I will say that when you hire from the inside the learning curve is much less steep and the failure rate is infinitesimal in comparison.

I thank God almost daily for the staff he has allowed us to assemble at Friendship.  They make what I do easier and a whole lot more fun.  Pastors, your staff can either make you or break you, make sure you choose wisely!

I’d love to hear back from you on this, even if you are not hiring in the ‘church’ world.  What has been your experience with this?

Dave

Posted by  |  March 10, 2015 | Categories: Church, Creativity, Leadership, Sports | Tags: , | 2 Comments

Soul Alignment

SoulAlignment_WebThis coming Sunday, March 8th, 2015, I’ll begin teaching a series that has been 20+ years in the making.  I have had the privilege of being a pastor for just over 20 years and during that time I’ve counseled hundreds, if not thousands of people.  If there is one common thread among them all, it’s that they all, in fact, we all are looking for satisfaction, fulfillment, and peace in this life.  For most of humanity this search seems endless, we look for it in every person we meet, in every job we take, in every day that we live, and the majority of us walk away, unfulfilled.

It wasn’t always this way; in the beginning things were perfect, and then sin came in and destroyed it all.  But, what if there was a way to experience that fullness, that peace, that joy once again?  What if, say our Creator, actually had a plan in place to connect us to those things that would fill our hearts with peace, our lives with meaning, and our relationships with joy? Jesus, in fact, promises as much when he says in John 10:10:

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

The process isn’t some 10 step program, or a list of rules or regulations.  No, it’s something far more profound, you see our souls are out of alignment with the purposes and plan of God for our life.  And, because of this, just like when a car is out of alignment, there is all sorts of vibration, chaos, and unsettledness in our soul.  It doesn’t matter how much we have, how many relationships we engage in, or how much accomplishment we can find, there will always be something that’s “off” and we feel it.  But, when our souls become aligned with Him, the world around us can be spinning out of control and we will be in absolute peace.

If you want to discover how you can get your soul back in line with God’s, I’d like to invite you to come to Friendship Church this weekend, or listen online at experiencefriendship.com.

I’ll see you then!

Dave

Posted by  |  March 5, 2015 | Categories: Christian Life, Church, New Series | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Husband Vs Wife Pt5

we had to cancel on Sunday because of weather, but we wanted to finish our series, so here Ya go! Grab your spouse, fiancé, or significant other and watch it together!

https://vimeo.com/121094438

Posted by  |  March 4, 2015 | Categories: Church, Family | Leave a comment

Why 2,000 year old letters matter: An Impassioned Plea to Rob Bell!

Having been a ‘victim’ of exaggeration and outright lies about things I’ve said, preached, or written I always try to err on the side of grace, and when I feel it’s necessary to speak to a subject, make sure I’ve done my research.

Several years ago Rob Bell wrote a book entitled Love Wins, a book which ended up costing him his pastorate.  It felt like every evangelical/orthodox pastor with a social media account was bashing him even before the book had been released!  Knowing the world we live in and Satan’s great desire to divide those of us who claim the name of Christ I actually went out and read the book, go figure!  The book wasn’t as evil as everyone said, but Mr. Bell’s conclusions were simply made because of his emotions about the subject rather than his research of the truth on the subject from Scripture.  The biggest problem that developed from his book was not the discussion on Heaven and Hell, that was good, instead it was the increasingly embraced idea that maybe, just maybe, placing your faith in Jesus Christ in this life isn’t the only way for salvation.  Now, for fairness sake, Mr. Bell doesn’t come right out and say this verbatim, but he leads you right to the doorstep, knocks on the door, looks at you with a smile and says, ‘So, whatcha think?’.

Again, Mr. Bell and now along with his wife, have come out with a new book on marriage called The Zimzum of Love.  Now, I will readily confess that I have not read the book, nor do I plan to, but Mr. Bell and his wife gave an interview with Oprah, which I watched in it’s entirety.  It is this interview and the words that he and his wife chose that I now have to address.  I could address the fact that they include homosexuality as a viable option for humanity, but I’ve done that before.  Suffice to say that I believe like all sins, homosexuality is a cheap imitation of God’s relational design, that will leave all those who participate in it more broken, more wounded, and less fulfilled.  Satan is the ultimate deceiver and he’s garnering more and more of professed believers into accepting the lie that God is keeping something from you, when in reality it’s that God is wanting to protect you, because He’s got something better for you!

Here are my previous posts on the subject:

However, that is not why I write this post.  I write this because of a statement that Mr. Bell makes while trying to defend his position on homosexuality.  Here is the quote verbatim:

“I think culture is already there and the church will continue to be even more irrelevant when it quotes letters from 2,000 years ago as their best defense, when you have in front of you flesh-and-blood people who are your brothers and sisters, and aunts and uncles, and co-workers and neighbors, and they love each other and just want to go through life.”

And here is the salient clip, just in case you think I might be taking it out of context:

For clarity sake, what Mr. Bell has just said is that the church will continue to be even more irrelevant when it makes it’s best defense the Bible.  Allow that to sink in for a moment…  He has just said that ‘flesh-and-blood people’ not a holy, sovereign God should determine what is right for them.  He has just implicated that the Bible is in fact, irrelevant in our world today, it cannot be relied upon, it cannot be trusted as truth.  He has finally hypothesized that if the church keeps as it’s focus the truth found in the Word of God, they will cease to be an influence on the world around them.

I am most certain that Mr. Bell will not read my small, inconsequential blog, but hopefully people who listen to him will.  Hopefully, my friends who have read some of his previous writings, which for the most part were solid, will veer away from this new iteration of his faith.  My friends, I beg of you to consider the implications if indeed the Bible is irrelevant:

  • The mission of the church is founded in those 2,000 year old letters.  I have often stated that I believe that the local church, as the messenger of Jesus Christ, is the hope of the world.  If the Bible is irrelevant, our world is without hope.
  • The message of the gospel is found in those 2,000 year old letters.  Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No man can come to the Father except through me.”  If this truth cannot change culture, than culture cannot be changed!
  • The key to genuine fulfillment is found in those 2,000 year old letters.  Jesus says that He came to give us life in all of it’s fullness!  If His words are irrelevant than we as a human race are living empty lives, void of fulfillment, and without the possibility of real enjoyment.

My friends, those 2,000 year old letters are precious to me, not because I am some stuck in the mud, fundamental, traditionalist who still believes that a fat adulterous King was the only one who could authenticate Scripture (King James if you’re wondering), but because I have tried them, tested them, and applied them to my life year after year, and they have proven faithful!  Those 2,000 year old letters change lives, saves marriages, and alters eternal destinies, they are far from irrelevant, they are essential!

Think about it,

Dave

Posted by  |  March 3, 2015 | Categories: Family, Homosexuality, Rob Bell | Tags: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments